09 August 2018

CONFESSIONS OF A JADED OLD BLOGGER/PART ONE

Recently I have yet once again reevaluated my blog and my overall blogging goals or lack thereof. I made some decisions I will try to abide by (for my own sake and the sake of my dwindling but dedicated  to the core readership) and have taken some some under the hood action as well. I looked over my entire blog from my first post way back when to my most recent. I did some deep and profound soul searching, the type of which few in our modern society are equipped to undertake, and made some discoveries, some good and some bad and some (you got it) ugly. Let me share the parts I can remember with you. 

1) I still enjoy blogging and want to maintain my old blog. Despite all my struggles with even being able to do the blog from inside China, where Google and all its products are blocked, I still find myself wanting to do a post more than now and then. It is not that I do not want to blog or lack material or the basic ability to write about things in general but it is rather I have suffered so many set backs and let downs that I have lost more than a little bit of zest and passion. I think that is natural to lose some momentum even under the best of situations and one does not have to maintain the same level of zeal he had at the beginning of an endeavor all the way to the end. And while I am far from passionate about blogging the way I once was I still want to churn a few more posts before either I give up utterly or I can no longer access outside sites from China or Google just drops Blogger because Google is about as evil as China in the end. But slightly less evil of course. 

2) I do not like my newer style of writing/posting and my selection of content too much. This is actually a complicated issue. The original Uranium Cafe of way, way back started off on some Opera hosted blog platform. That got blocked and then more and more stuff started getting blocked in commie China about 2006 or so. About the time they were making promises to not block the Internet. I switched to a self hosted site and then it got too expensive and troublesome to manage and decided to host here at Blogger. I actually over time have dropped over 100 posts of content because it all did not fit in to what I originally wanted for the site, which was to focus on older, more "psychotronic" styled films. I started another blog called Necrotic Cinema that I used for writing about newer horror films or more gory styled movies. It became a struggle to maintain two blogs, and I merged the content form that blog into this one. 

If you were to go back and check the content of my first pages (easy to do since I use a page navigation hack at the bottom of my blog pages so you can zip around easily) you would see all old movie stuff. Those old posts were also written in a style I do not use anymore and doubt I ever will again. Long researched posts with loads of original screen captures. Written with a tone of respect and admiration at times even for schlock.  I like old bad movies a lot. And old good movies I really truly love and watch over and over. About half way through my back pages all the films shift to newer horror, mostly after 2000. This is where I merged NC with this blog and then deleted that blog or stopped posting to it at least. I forget. Maybe it is still out there. But after that this blog took a new and different direction. I am more burned out and cynical these days. I now find myself not even writing much about movies and seemed to be doing this sort of angry tirades about social justice Hollywood. And that brings me to my next point...

3) I just don't like newer movies all that much. I simply hate all the social messages and woke themes and simple lack of fun in most newer films. For example I watched a video about how out of touch old movies were when they said things like "wonder how many Germans we're gonna kill" in WWII type films like The Dirty Dozen. You should never insult an entire nationality. Better to have made clear they were going to kill only Nazis. Or Imperial Japanese soldiers, not actual Japanese. As if it is all two different things. Nowadays it is better to show dirty Americans executing hapless Germans or Japanese soldier. You know, showing the "truth" about the evil empire And is always okay. I have touched on this sort of thing enough recently and am getting tired of it. It annoys me so much I find myself watching fewer new movies. Add to that the fact that the horror genre is loaded with a shit load of crappy ass indie material that is simply unwatchable and I can see why I am flustered. Social justice message movies and amateur drek. 

4) My attitude towards social media and the elusive so called "blogging community" has changed. The very nature of blogging itself has changed and people tend to view the Internet on their smart phones or tablets while walking or on the bus or in Starbucks. The attention spans of people in general have become shorter and more prone to boredom or the "meh" attitude. It became harder for me to keep writing those long, overworked posts and have them ignored in terms of views or comments, while a pinup girl post of a woman in a swimsuit, with no text, became my most visited post ever. In time my whole attitude towards all it became bitter and even hostile. For a variety of reasons I quit social media and have no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr and so on and so on. Nothing except this blog (and a couple other blogs) and Youtube. While Youtube is in fact social media it is different and I also watch a lot of old schlocky ass movies there. But even here at this blog I recently did some house cleaning in some departments that go back to the days of trying to be part of the rancid joke that is the blogging community.

5) My feelings towards other blogs and bloggers has either matured or soured, depending on how you look at things. I was invited to be part of something called the League of Tana Tea Drinkers years ago and I was very flattered and grateful for that. I did not solicit myself and and want to say thanks to the gentleman who started it all and invited, John C who is a fantastic blogger (check out his blog here). But I took down my banner from my side bar that displayed my membership there. I have no hard feelings but rather the club is sort of defunct and the site has not been updated since 2012. But I really liked having that coveted banner in my sidebar. It was hard to take down and I spent a long time thinking it over. The deal was I just want to blog for myself now. I removed all such banners, like the stupid and worthless Horror Alliance banner. I also got sick of the Blogger Follower gadget. Not only had my number of Followers not gone up from 151 for about five or more years, it WENT DOWN! To 149. Fucking shit. Two twerps unfollowed me recently. I angrily took the gadget off along with the useless ass Google + badge. The goddamned thing can't go up one follower for over five years then recently the count goes down two. Who needs that lame ass shit I ask you?

NOTE: Later I had a change of heart and put my LOTTD badge back. John was always nice and helpful to me and encouraging, and it is the only group that ever approached me and invited me in. I also put my follower badges back up because, well, to be honest, I am desperate and no matter how "tough" I might sound here in these posts, I have a hard time being an asshole and hard ass. 

Further I am going through my blogroll blogs and deleting any blogs I do not care for. The only reason I followed most of those blogs was that they might follow me back and the number on my Follower gadget would get higher and higher, and as the numbers got higher so would my worth as a human being I guess. Well in fact I do genuinely like a lot of blogs and when they are updated I check them out and may even leave a comment. But a lot of those blogs I follow suck and I am not going to follow a blog that sucks anymore. And maybe some blogs don't really suck but I may had some falling out with the guy who runs the blog, back in my really stupid period of trying to connect with other members of the blogging community. I could tell you some stories but it is a waste of time and energy. I found that they are all mostly pretty much a bunch angry America hating liberals and could be downright aggressive at times with their opinions. Okay, maybe it seems I can be too but actually I am often tongue in cheek and using hyperbole and satire. I don't tell people to "fuck off" and unfriend them or unfollow them on some pussified social media platform because their view on some issue is not a carbon copy of mine.  But now I have decided why not. Fuck 'em. You pussies! Goddamned socialists! 

I think it is always good to end on an up note and so I will wrap up this first part of this most riveting topic for now. I will conclude my deep introspections shorty in part two. Please stayed tuned as there will be the most profound and lofty introspections to be revealed at that time. I might dare say they could well change the current path that humanity is mired down on.





2 comments:

Bob Johns said...

I agree blogging has become a struggle and its sad, I still do it but more for just my metal health it is still fun to me even if my blog is not the best. But if you keep on blogging I will keep on reading cheers to you!

Bill Courtney said...

Well said Bob. We shall keep blogging until they pry our keyboards from our cold dead hands!

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