Yes I have now gone thirty days without using Facebook. But I may need to clear up something, as my account was accidentally reactivated somehow, perhaps by my wife or myself, while signing into my Instagram account. I found this out via an email. My pictures from Instagram and I guess my Tumblr (and that place sucks too) may show up on FB but it does not mean that I am active there. It only bums me out even more that there are little tricks like this that prevent you, short of deleting your account, from staying deactivated. But I have gone 30 days now without posting or checking on comments or anything like that. I also removed my FB (and Twitter) widgets from my blog sidebar. The old days of following blogs seems over. Blogger has even officially discontinued their Follow widget and now is that Google+ thing. I have a Google+ but never go there and I see no value in it. It is like realizing one hates democracy and so replaces it with communism. I will stick with the more successful of the two evils if I must choose. And I will admit that I do miss some things. But I also have had time to reflect on a few things about Facebook and my issues with it towards the end and how I may approach it should I return to it some day, though that is not a plan I have for the near future. Here are some issues regarding FB and myself that in the end only walking away from it could resolve.
1) I do not really hate the USA at all and FB seems to be a pretty polarized community of right wingers on the one hand and the burn America to ground (usually all Americans saying this) on the other. If one seems to lean even slightly to right (and I feel I do) they are labeled a mindless, war mongering redneck. I also support cops in the US. There are bad apples, but there are no good apples in the ghetto thug crack dealer camp as far as I am concerned. I got so burned out with the whole "Amerika the police state" messages I started trying to respond with "logic" to those posts and it all became nothing but basically flaming and trolling on my part. It was the same on their part of course too. But I just wasted too much mental energy on it all and in the end I can only change my own attitudes and reactions, nobody else's.
2) As far as I can tell my FB (and Twitter) account never helped traffic to my blog at all. I could not set up the goddamned feed stuff correctly and I never got updates to my FB UCafe page. My Necrotic Cinema page become spammed and FB blocked updates to it. However, my hits and such there was mostly spam towards the end. I couldn't control it and I had decided to stop that blog anyway and merge it with the UCafe. But I have never been able to tell that even 1% of traffic ever arrived to my blog from Facebook.
3) Facebook became a substitute for me actually doing real blog posts. I felt if I posted a picture of Bela Lugosi I was still blogging. I have had to struggle with my blogging feelings and lack of zest and output, but FB is in no way blogging. It is the fastfood method of blogging at best.
4) Facebook is just too PC for me. That whole period with the rainbow profile picture that showed support for LGBT types just put me off. I support LGBT, but it just felt that was another example of PC bullying and if you did not put a little rainbow color on your profile picture then the thought police people were suspect of you. Another fellow blogger got irate with me for posting a picture of a butt ugly transsexual with total fail plastic surgery. I was, to be immature about it all, attacking HIS image and the disaster that he was physically due to his surgeries. For some reason we can do this with poor Mickey Rourke or Melanie Griffith but not with this yoyo for no other reason that HE was once (and actually still is) a man. Now his wiener is gone and I owe him more respect than people who are still the same sex they were when they born. I am sure I could be friends with a transsexual. But it wouldn't be because they were a transsexual only and I could not refuse the friendship anymore than I could with anyone else. Later same said fellow blogger must have had it with me for me stating I hated the films of Wes Craven, which I do, and unfriended me (for like the 2nd time I think). My views on media personalities are all mostly in jest as far as I am concerned but in the end I am not tough enough to deal with how people react I guess. And the final straw comes from being to "fuck off" by someone I cared about because my views on something differed from theirs. I have many times had disagreements over beliefs in my life. I have never been told to fuck off by someone I cared for. I have been told so in those terms or similar by people I knew hated me and the feeling was, sadly, mutual. In the end it became too much for me to deal with and I got sick of seeking a resolution.
5) And to build on the last point, if one has had a good relationship with their family or origin then FB is a way to continue that, to stay in touch and all that stuff normal, healthy families do. If one more or less survived (mentally, emotionally and even physically) a basically "toxic" and "dysfunctional" family as I did, it is only going to become a painful lesson if one holds the hope of building bridges with FB. If was never anything there then FB is not going to make that stuff appear. I live in China now and my family and relations are all in the US. After my Chinese wife was denied a travel visa by the US embassy here to go there and visit my family I really felt a big rift form between my self and my old world. I have to confess I felt relief even. I still wanted something resolved from my past and I saw FB as the means of getting that. But it was not meant to be. if anyone in my family misses me they came come to China and see me. they wold not be denied a travel visa. But it struck me that will never happen. Not to turn this post in to some sort of maudlin revelation of my tormented life, but I was wasting time and money to try to go see people who will never ever come here to see me. And why continue FB if I have deluded myself into thinking I have made some sort of connection with them through it.
And that is that. Once the thrill of adding a picture to one's wall and seeing who liked it later or maybe even commented is gone then nothing is left unless one has genuine human connections he is trying to maintain. The place works for some people and not for others. I posted how I had basically lost my job here and was forced to going onto a marriage visa early. And because of tight visa rules here in China I am not working, for fear of deportation for working on a non-work visa. I got two comments from two old teacher friends who had lived in China themselves. Fuck. And the same time period some girly girl posts how her ex-boyfriend texted her and wanted to get together and what should she do and she got at least 50 likes and comments, all supportive and encouraging. So FUCK THAT SHIT! Meet up and screw already.
If I do return to FB it will be to solely support my blog, if I decide to even continue that. That is looking grim some days too. If FB works for you, hallelujah. If it does not and it causes you more pain than pleasure, then I am letting you know, life goes on without it. I may go back and deactivate it again as it is active again without me wanting it to be, or I may just let it be.